I've been thinking a lot about college lately being that it's only a scant 3 weeks away. Less, actually. Questions like what am I most afraid of, what do I want to accomplish, and what do I want to avoid have crossed my mind.
The thing that has been going over and over again in my mind is how am I going to minister to the people around me. I don’t want to just be The Smart One or The Girl Who Smiles anymore. I am going into this with a new mindset and I want to proclaim the name of Jesus with everything that I am. He is the reason I chose Anderson, the reason that I chose Art Ed, the reason that I want to be a missionary, the reason that I stinkin’ wake up in the morning with breath left in my body. He is everything.
I’m not so concerned about making awesome grades (although I do want to do that) or having a good room or being able to not look stupid (bahaha…. Well, that will probably happen some) as I am making sure that my heart is in the right place. I don’t want others to know Jesus so that they will know me. I want others to know Jesus because he changed my life and because there is absolutely no reason for me to keep on living if he doesn’t exist.
I want to be able to show others how important Jesus is to me. I feel like towards the end of senior year I was able to do that more at school but still not to the level that I wanted. I don’t want it to seem like I’m ashamed of him, I want to proclaim his name from the rooftops.
I want them to know WHY I’m the Girl Who Smiles. I smile because I have the living, active, Holy Presence of God living inside of me!
ALSO…
I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am going to serve at New Spring and how I can get involved there. I am really excited about it but I just have no idea what I will like or where God will want me. I feel like I want to do something that does not involve children… sometimes I feel bad about saying that – you’re supposed to love them, right? And I do love them with the love of Christ but I don’t feel like I’m good at working with them. It makes me feel inadequate. So anyway, I want to figure out what I am supposed to do in that area as well.
So that's what Bethany's Brain has looked like for the past couple of weeks...
